Walk this way

Today I ventured to the great outdoors with my trusty daughter. We weathered the weather and travelled great distances...but alas we made it home safe and sound for a hearty lunch of chicken, corn and hashbown patties. Yes hashbrown patties. A solid staple to any diet. hehehe
We had a nice nap after lunch and awoke to the treat of watching Nemo. Well she got to watch nemo i got to fold laundry and do dishes and clean. I don't mind cleaning though. It gives me a good feeling inside when my place is clean. Although it doesn't last for too long because as much as i like cleaning she likes making a mess. One of us is better at it then the other. I will let you guess.
So my friend Erica is coming for a visit tomorrow. I am excited. A little sad at the sametime because I wish it was warmer out. In the summer we always go for ice cream like once a week and I would really love to do that tomorrow but it is just too darn cold! 8o( We shall have fun anyway..and the freezer is stacked with ice cream and I have chocolate. So us girls should be all set for a fun night. Well after 8 when Evelynn goes to bed hehehe.
Kenny is coming over tonight. Should be here shortly. Sundays are our days..and it is Grey's day. We are both in love with that show and can't wait all week for Sunday (Even though I hate Sundays because Mondays follow) Grey's make it bareable.
I gues that is my news for today. How interesting.

Ohh forgot that Aleshia came over on Saturday for a little bit. I wanted to post a picture of her on here too. Since she really is the reason I started a blog with her question of..why don't you have a blog. So shout to Aleshia!! One of the bestest girls/women in the world. Another person I know I could turn to in a heartbeat. I am really blessed with how many people I have to turn to if the need came. Do unto other right? That must hold true...and Karma..which I totally believe in. Anyway...signing off now.
Tanya

Evelynn

I just wanted to share some pictures of Evelynn. I will write a longer post tonight when she goes to bed. She is just napping now and i want to grab a quick nap myself...so here is a few pictures. I think Marg one of my 'lunch bunch moms' is reading my blog and I know she would love to see as many pictures of Evelynn as I can post...so this should keep her happy for a few days!
This is for you Marg! 8o)

Forts are Great!

Welcome to the loser life of Tanya.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a kid again. Remembering the days of tree climbing and fort building! Well in my life these things still carry on. Saturday night. Usually a night for beer drinking and partying. Except if you have a two year old. My night consited of McDonalds and fort building. Sara and i gave Evelynn the fundamentals of fort building. She caught on quite well I must say. We built the coolest fort ever. The sad part (for me anyway) was that after Evelynn went to bed for the night Sara and I continued to play in the fort. Kenny came over and we talked him into joining us in there. He felt as though he was too big a quickly left us to play on our own again. That is when we sent him off into the kitchen to fetch us a beer. (After the week I had and the temperment of Evelynn I felt a beer was rightly due) I will admit we didn't stay too much longer in the fort...but the damage was done. It is now affirmative...I am a big loser.

Sadness...

Today was not the best day I have had. Sadly I need to report that someone I worked with passed away suddenly. I am shocked at the moment. It is still very surreal feeling. I still feel that on Monday this person will pop around as usual. I know it is not going to happen but it is still hard to believe.
I hate death. Death scares me to death. I can't get the picture of this person out of my mind. I hope and pray they were not scared when the end came. Maybe there was a peace that washed over him..a calm. I wonder..where is he now? I don't know what happens after you die...is there anything? is he in a happy place? is he watching all of us? i don't know. I know he was too young. I feel it wasn't fair. I wonder if he would have done things different if he knew when he woke up this morning it would be his last. If he knew that last summer would have been his last..would he have taken more time off to spend with family? I know i can't dwell on the what if's. You need to live each day as though it is your last...but still...what if...

Naughty Evelynn

ok...so I hate to write negitive things about my daughter but..my gosh was she testing today! She screamed and cried and tried to hit me and was yelling NO NO NO! To everything! It was crazy. Terrible twos or someone got terribly spoiled in England. Well Mommy was not having this. I was the strick mom tonight (the bad guy) and kept my cool but was very firm. I had to give her two time outs. also i am sure it didn't help that I refuse to let her have her dummy now unless she is going to sleep. Her Dad has agreed to do the samething. She is a good girl for the most part but I feel she is really tryiing to see how much she can get away with from me. her babysitter had a rough day with her today too. She just wasn't herself. What can you expect though when she has been getting spoiled rotton for the last three weeks. Mommy's put her foot down now and thats where it is staying. I always ask her "Who's the boss Evelynn" hoping she will say mommy..she still says she is but I know one of these days she is going to get the idea. hehehe
After she went to bed Kenny came over to watch Survivor! It was awesome! I love that show. I am just getting into it compared to other people. This is only my 4th one. Ok Ok I am so into it. hehe
After that we made popcorn (well Kenny was sweet enough to make it for me) and watched a movie called Weather man or something. I wasn't really into the movie and the next thing i knew it was over. I had fallen asleep (Not the first time this has happened..only a week ago did I do the samething) ya so i can't give thumbs up or thumbs down because i missed half of it. It was a strange one though.
Kenny is playing tomorrow night. He is in a band. He is coming by on Saturday which should be nice. They will be playing a lot of gigs coming up. I am excited for them.
Tomorrow is Friday! I am excited. Maybe after dinner will sit and watch a movie with Evelynn let her eat popcorn for the first time...maybe..maybe hehehe I am looking forward to the weekend and hopefully no more testing from the little one. I should be able to take some nice pictures to post on the site too.
Anyway..wanted to blog now I must saw some logs.
G'night

Heart is where the home is...

or i mean home is where the heart is...
Good news! Evelynn is home! She got bigger and older in 3 weeks! It feels so good to have her back. She is taking a nap upstairs in her bed now. She is such a good little girl. Seems like she was never gone.
We had a busy fun morning. Did some finger painting and drawing with her, read a ton of books, watched Dora...we all know how she can't get enough of that girl. Had lunch (well i did someone else didn't want to eat) and now it is nap time. She is napping at her usual time so it doesn't seem like the time change is having much of an effect on her..so far anyway.
My mom and step dad are supposed to be coming over later. They can't wait to see her. She can't wait to see them. She has been saying all morning, 'Grandma and Grandpa coming soon? right mommy? right?' (yes thats how my daughter talks...i KNOW!) hehehe
Anyway..just wanted to share the good news, I better have my shower now while I have the chance.

Bottoms Up!

I see I didn't think this posting thing through. Like most things I do or say...So I will let you all know you need to start at the bottom of my blog. the rest i wrote during the week from my space and i just cut and pasted them onto here. so the order is a bit mixed but from now on I think things should move smoothly.

8th post:



Comment..one two...Comment

I know I have already posted today, but i just wanted to say...No one is COMMENTING ME!! I would really like it if i had some feed back. Maybe my posts are just too boring for any comments..but someone could comment to tell me it is too boring to comment. *sigh*

7th one:



Baby come HOME!
Current mood: okay

Tomorrow is the BIG Day. My daughter will finally return from her long Holiday to the UK with her Father. She has been gone for 3 weeks now. They have been the longest and shortest three weeks of my life. I miss her so much. I couldn't sleep last night. Hopefully I will be so tired tonight I wont have any problems with that. It is going to feel so good to hold her in my arms again (if she will let me) For some strange reason my child is not very affectionate. I give her tons of affection so I have no idea why she isn't. Maybe it is just the way she is. She is getting more huggy and kissy. I love it.
It has gone by fast though. like i said before i have been keeping pretty busy. Seems like life is zooming by and I just want it to slow down. i know I am only 23 but there is so much I want to do with my life I worry about not having the time. I want things now and find it hard to wait. i know good things come to those who wait and i really feel that that holds true. But why does it have to take so long!!! hehehe
This summer is going to be so much fun with her too. She will be 3. I have so many fun activities planned for her. I hope we can do them all. Money is a factor. I hate to say it but it can be pretty tight when you are a single parent. If i had all the money i wanted she would be able to do so much. I wish i could put her in classes. Dance or swimming something fun that she would like. I got to do all those things myself as a child. Anything i wanted I got to try. Maybe i can convince her Dad to split on something with me. Maybe...that would be nice.
Ok...now onto today. Let me tell you! It was a crazy busy day at work. We got through it but i know the rest of the week is just going to be nutso. Someone is taking tomorrow off so i will have to help out there. Good news is i have the next day off. Spend sometime with Evelynn. Not sure what to expect though. I don't know if she will sleep Tuesday night. Get up super early. Be in a good mood or grumpy or Happy to see me (I hope)
Tonight I am having some people over to play some games on the playstation. that should be fun. Right now i am waiting for Kenny to come to our now burned dinner. Slow poke! i did a ton of cleaning tonight too. want the place nice and fresh for Evelynn when she comes home. Not that it wont take her a second to make a huge mess. but thats what kids do best.
Hopefully I will still have time to blog when she is back. think i should be ok. Hopefully she will continue to go to sleep on her own in her own bed like she was before she left. But like i said i really don't know what to expect when she comes back.
Anyway...until next time...

6th one:



Erica my Barbie girl
Current mood: happy

Hellooooooooo,
Wow! Great night. Went to the big L for Ericas Birthday party and it was soooooooooooooooooo much fun! I have a ton of pictures from the event too. We went out for a nice meal which was really yummy. Then we hung out at her place for a little bit and got ready to bowl the night away! I did much better then I thought i would because as the blog before stated i am no good at sports. I AALMOST made 100. Almost. The important thing is i didn't lose and i hardly got any gutter balls.
After bowling we just went back to Ericas. We hung out and had a lot of laughs all night. My friends are the funniest people i know. They all can really make me laugh. I think we fit.
Erica has a website now and she is going to look in to hosting me so i can also have my own. I think that would be so gravey so then i can make it look all hip and pretty and add pictures. I think it will be a lot of fun.
My daughter called me today. She sounds so cute on the phone. The first thing she always asks is if she can watch Dora. You know what is important to her. She doesn't wonder if Mommy will be home when she comes back she wants to make sure Dora will be here. what a kid. She sung to me on the phone too. Very sweet. She comes back on Tuesday and i can't wait. I am so excited i am going to hug her and kiss her so much. 3 weeks is a long time to be apart. Mind you i wont complain about the break. I have been keeping pretty busy myself. There hasn't really been any lonely nights for me. Always something to do. Which is a good thing. It will be nice when i can have things back to normal again. Atleast i get the chance to remember what life was like before kids or kid (only have one that i know of, sure hope i didn't get someone pregnant along the way) *laughs*
Yes i laugh at my own jokes, someone has to.
Motivation...have to get motivated. I need to shower now...but i have no motivation. Well i think it is time to get off my butt and do it.
Until next time...

SO....I see people are actually reading my blog. 4 views today! that is crazy! who are these people and why are you reading my blog? Did you just stumble across it? God knows i have nothing interesting to write about and really you could have just as much fun watching paint dry. Altogether since i started this blog on Sunday I have had 20 views!! Is it my friends reading this cause i really want to know. I do know Sara is reading my blog or did once that i know of. It is cool. Kinda exciting thinking people are reading it. Would be helpful to leave comments though. Then maybe i can have a direction of where to take this.
Today went by super fast for me. I wish it wasn't so late because i don't really want to go to bed. Atleast tomorrow is friday. Can relax on the weekend. I am super excited about going to Ericas birthday. we get to bowl and i can make an ass of myself trying to knock down the pins. I have never been good at sports. i am not even sure if you can call bowling a sport i just know i am not good at it so therefore it must be a sport. Same with singing and writing and chewing gum. Should be fun and a good laugh. Maybe throw some drinks into the mix as we all know i like to drink like a fish! hehehe Will be good to get together with everyone too. hardly get to see Justin or Erica anymore. krista will be there too and it has been ages since i saw her last. I think it was Saras birthday. Jen is coming which is awesome because i hardly see her anymore now too. She is working two jobs so that can make it hard to see someone.
Gosh where does the time go really?! Must get to bed now,
Until next time...

5th one:



TGIF
Current mood: bouncy

This weekend has already started off as a busy one. I feel like i am trying to cram like 3 weekends into one. The fact is my daughter will be home this week so the next weekend i will be able to go out is March 3rd and 4th. I have a feeling there is a stag and doe i am going to that weekend but don't know 100%.
So last night was like 2 nights in one. I spent most of the evening with my Kenny and he makes me feel so good. We saw my parents for a bit and played dice and drank coffee. Not sure if a mentioned before how much i love coffee! I know i did in my secret message.
Then I went to the nest a little after midnight which is my fave place to go drinking. Had a few drinks. I was so hyper that people thought i was drunk before i even started drinking but thats just the way i am . I was feeling pretty high on life really. was in such a good mood (latley i have been in a good mood all the time. it is awesome!!!!!!!) Saw my old friend Adam who i haven't seen in years! it was a blast. i usuayll have fun anywhere i go. It was so dead there with hardly any people but you can make any night fun.
Tonight is going to be awesome too! i love getting together with Justin and Erica they are fun funny people. Bowling is going to be kick ass!
So i must get my butt in gear and get showered and ready to go. want to tidy the house a bit before i leave.
Hopefully tomorrow i can write a longer more interesting blog.
until then...

4th one:



Crack the Whip

Whip cream that is! hehehe j/k. don't know why i said that other than it could mean a night of fun! Girls like sweets!
Am i the only one that cannnot believe how fast this month is going by! Or the year. We are in the second month people!! Is everyone still doing their new years resolutions? i didn't make any myself. i never see a point in it.
So far i am liking 2006 and thinking it can only get better. I feel like me again. I know i have always been me...but maybe i mean to say the old me again. People are always changing and that is a fact. it is what we do..is it possible to change back into our old selves? although i wouldn't say i am just like my old self because i like to think i may be wiser now. Might not be the case but i think so anyway.
Today i just chilled at my friend Matts house. April one of my best friends was there. it was fun and we had some good laughs. It is amazing what a good laugh can do for you. makes you feel light and almost as though you are floating. i love to laugh.
Work has been super busy this week too. I am not sure why but it has been crazy!! thats all i will say. It is funny that when i started there a year and a half ago i would go to bed at 9:30 every night and now it is 11:30-12:00. The evenings go by so fast i want to get as much out of them as i can. seems like we spend so much of our time working. Lucky for me i enjoy my job a lot. i like what i do i just wish i made some more money and had benefits. I am a single mother so it can be hard making ends meet. Hence the room mate. But i love my Sara (aka life partner) so it worked out well there. She is one of those people that can make you laugh. When you are feeling in the worst of moods be sure she will pick you up. I am really lucky to have a friend as good as her. I wish i could be as funny as she is.
Thats all i will say for now because a girl does need her beauty sleep and my bed is calling me.
Take care.

3rd one:



and done...
Current mood: tired

The big V day is done now. Until next year. the flowers have been bought (and wilting) the candy purchased (and ate) the cards picked (and set aside). Everyone makes such a big deal out of this day...it is just another day. Not to say it wasn't an amazing day. I took Kenny out to dinner. It was nice. Went to one of my fave restaurants Glitters and i ate like a pig! ohh well. Also watched Saw 2 which was an awesome movie. I loved the first one as well. It is a different type of scary movie. Well done and i give two thumbs up!
Off topic. I keep trying to figure out how to make my space more pretty and i can't do it. I enter all the codes but it doesn't seem to work. I reallysuck at this. Not too good at writing either. I guess thats why no one reads my blog.
anyway..just a short one as i have to get ready to go to work now. Maybe tonight i will write another one.

2nd one:



I heart you...

Valentines day ...tomorrow. What can you think of Valentines day? everyone knows that some marketing company thought it would be a great way to make money. Which it is. I hate it though. Why do we have to have a day marked on our calendars to show someone we care. I know i am not the first person to say this. At the sametime though...if i don't get something i feel bummed? Where is the logic in that?!?
Also i am in a new relationship..so then there are the thoughts of A: what do I buy him?, B: do I buy him? (I am the girl and i am not sure on the rules of this...i know i have bought in the past but not all the time...hmmm?) C: How much am i supposed to spend?!?!
There should by some sort of instructions to follow for these sorts of events. You know what i mean. Lay it out straight. 1st year spend $10 or something, 2nd year $20 maybe $25??? i dunno! Does anyone know?
I went to the mall tonight and found a great gift for my daughter Evelynn though. I bought her the book Love You Forver by Robert Munsch. I love that book. i remember it from when I was a child. It makes me cry. I am going to write something cheesey inside the cover in hopes she will cherish it forever and ever. I have no problems buying for her. I can always find something i am sure she will love. Or i will love. I am still a big kid at heart.
God i cannot wait for her to come home. I miss her so much. She is in england with her dad for 3 weeks. One more week to go and i get my baby back. Baby she hardly is. Can you believe This last week i got a newsletter in the mail telling me my baby is grown and almost ready for school?! How did this happen. sure it is a ways off yet..but really only a year before I register her? Once again i cried. That is hard for me to admit because I am not a crier..well at least not that anyone knows. How fast they grow. Sometimes i wish i could go back..just for a little bit. Hold her again..feed her again..just have her do something as simple as sleep in my arms again. I know those days i will never get back...but i can dream.
I am sure if anyone actually is reading my blog at all they will notice that i really jump from subject to subject. i kinda think thats a good thing. means i have a lot to say. That has come as a surprise to me actually. i thought it would be hard to even get a line down but i am finding i just have to stop myself before it becomes too long and no one will read it. Maybe it already is.
Hopefully soon i can figure out how to add wallpaper and pictures and make it more colourful.
until then...

Past posts

1st one:



The Start
Current mood: calm
Category: Life


I am going to cut and paste my blogs from my space and post them in here. That way they are not wasted.
So was talking to Aleshia (one of my bestest friends) tonight. Showed her some of the blogs i love to read and she asked me what a blog was. I said kinda like an online diary. She said do you have one? I don't. Never thought i would have anything interesting enough to write about. I don't. But enough people write useless stuff that i got thinking why can't I? It is not like i am going to ask anyone to read it or that i want to be marked on how well i put pen to paper or fingertips to keys in this case. Aleshia seems to think i have enough going on in my life to write about. I am not sure of that but will give it a try.
lets see..should i just jump in and start writing about what i did this week..or give some insight into the kind of person i am and what has happened to shape me today? Maybe that can come little by little.
Well this weekend was kind of a big one for me. I have a new boyfriend and his name is Kenny. well this was the weekend i was to met the two most important women in his life. His Mother and his best friend Dawn. I loved his mom. She is one of those people you are sure you have met before. I don't know why. She was so easy to talk to and settle into such an easy comfort with. i was amazed myself.. Dawn as well was another person i felt at ease with. I gave her a hug when i left and as my friends know i am not a hugger. So as far as i can see things went better than i had expected. I think anyway. I am not sure what i had expecting i am just glad everything went well.
I am not sure how often i will write or even if i will write again...but this is the start..the start is kinda fitting for me as well. There is a lot of starts happening in my life right now. Not that i am starting over or anything but starting to learn. Starting to stand on my own two feet. Starting a relationship. Starting to be strong (some would argue that i have been strong but i believe i have been weak) starting to be positive again. Starting to feel like me. Starting to be comfortable. But not starting over. No not starting over at all. Starting to move on. This is where i am supposed to be. I am starting to feel that (laughs) it feels good.

The Start

Foireux - Disastrous - doomed

Not how I feel today. Was a fitting description of myself I felt at one time. I am looking at the up-side these days.

I should introduce myself. My name is Tanya or Tanna (depending on who you are, some of my good friends call me Tanna..i like it) I have a 2 and a half year old daughter (on her way home from England as we speak) I live with one of my best friends Sara, helping each other out. I love to read blogs!!
I started to blog on my spacejust over a week ago. My friend Erica just gave me this site tonight where I can blog for free. I think I am really going to like it.
I think i am going to take the blogs i had posted on my space and place them on here instead of starting over and just continue where I had left off.

First i will post this and then see what I can do.