Time after Time

Sometimes I do find it hard to write a post. Especially when I think I have nothing of interest to write about. I do a lot of the same things everyday. I go to work 9-5. I either have Evelynn or not. Play cards with Sara and whoever is over in the evenings. Thats about as exciting as I get.

Last night I took Evelynn to Walmart after work. Went there to pick up a Birthday present for Robert. She can be difficult to shop with. April and Matt came too and by the end of our shopping trip I had more than enough. Evelynn is two though and maybe i do expect too much from her. I know she cannot be a carbon copy of my or who I was. That is so true because she is so different from me and how I was as a child. Thats not a bad thing but maybe I find it hard to understand where she is coming from sometimes.

I do feel like I am not a very good mom sometimes. Ok most of the time. I just think other people do a better job then me or make it look so much easier that I wonder why I am having such difficulties with it.I know not all days can be happy fun care free days. I know that. I just wish it could be that way. I guess I just need to take the fun moments with the...not so fun moments.

For example I had a really nice morning with Evelynn. We laid in bed for a little bit before getting up making silly faces and each other and talking. It was nice. It was sweet. She was sweet. Breakfast went well too. We talked about her day and what she will do. Talked about her up-coming sleep over at Grandma and Grandpas. I enjoyed breakfast with her. The not so good part came when we were leaving. I wanted her to wear boots she wanted shoes. Was a battle over that. She wanted to clean my car I wanted her in the car. Another battle. Dropping her off was sweet though. She gave me a big hug and kiss and before I left ran back for another one. I think I need to stop focusing so much on what I want to change and the negitive stuff and start to focus on the things about her I enjoy. I feel like the worst parent in the workd saying that I don't enjoy my child every minute I am with her. Somedays though...she can be a real handful.

Anyway...didn't have Evelynn tonight. Played Skip-Bo with Kenny and Sara. I won. I am really liking that game as I seem to be winning it a lot more than I ever did with Phase 10. Sara was really silly which made me laugh and lifted my mood. She can always do that.

Now I think I will unwind and head off to bed. After I wrap Roberts Birthday present of course.