Post-Partum

I cannot believe how wheepy I have been the last week or so. Kenny actually saw me cry this weekend and I never let anyone see me cry. You know I am so strong and everything and can really hold it together. (Well thats what I like to believe or kid myself into thinking)It wasn't full blown crying or anything. Just my eyes filling up and some sniffs. All over a little Easter card my Mom had got for me on behlaf of Evelynn. She had Evelynn colour in it and try to write her name. The part that got to me was 'To the best mommy in the whole wide world' I know I am not the best mommy, but right now I know that Evelynn thinks so. I am her only Mommy and will be forever..so forever I will be her Best Mommy in the Whole Wide world. That got me. Still does.


I just feel like Evelynn is growing up so fast on me now. I can't stop it. Yesterday she was my baby girl and she will always be my baby but now she is a girl. She does things to make me laugh. She is so independent. She is really her own little person now.

The thought that she will be three this summer really blows my mind away. I can remember taking her home from the hospital thinking..'what am I supposed to do now?' (I am sure that is the first thoughts of any mother)

Is it possible to have post-partum when they are three?


I just look at her and am full of so much pride and aww. How did she come from me? How did she get to be so smart? How is she so pretty?


I wrote this a few weeks ago just in my notebook. A random thought really; It scares me when I look at your baby pictures. To see how far you have come and to know that I had no idea what I was doing!
I am proud of you. I am proud of myself. Thank you for letting us grow together.

I know how young I was when I had her. There are younger mothers out there. I guess I mean I know how much I have grown since I had her. I never knew what it meant to be a mother and I know I still don't. Every age and every stage it will change. Honestly I had no idea you could love someone so much. (i don't know why I am so emotional right now?!?!)I am crying as I write this..



I can remember when she was a newborn. How small she was. Holding her in my arms, burping her, waiting for that first smile. I can remember people telling me it goes by so quick but not really having any idea what they meant when a sleepless night lasted forever. It does though. It did. I just want to hold onto the last of this baby before she will be gone. I will never have the newborn back, or the waddler or my toddler. I want to hold this moment for all its worth! The tears, the frustration, the joy and laughter. I don't want to let it go. I don't want her to grow so quick.